Tuesday, March 28, 2006

From My Scratchpad

I used to copy clearances onto random bits of scrap paper, but a while ago I started keeping a notepad for them. That way I can look back and see what clearance I got last time, and can keep track of silly conversations for you all. Here are a few.

ATC: Mooseflight 123, maintain 6000', advise prior to descent.
Pilot: Maintain 6000, advise prior to descent, Mooseflight 123.
Several minutes later
ATC: Mooseflight 123, say altitude
Pilot: Descending through 4500'
ATC: Didn't we agree that you were going to advise prior to descent?
Pilot: Sorry about that.

From a crew advised of VFR traffic and still looking for the VFR:
"We've got all our Christmas lights on."

And then there's the controllers who like to give instructions to crews that seem to be having difficulty.

ATC: Swan One, contact tower 123.4
Pilot: Over to Tower 123.4, Swan One.
Pilot: Tower, Swan One, out of 5000' with Juliet.
ATC: Still with Centre. You have to push the little button to get 123.4

The controller is referring to the type of a radio with an active frequency and a standby frequency. To swap the two you have to push a button. Half the time the button double clicks, so you end up on the same frequency you started, and if you don't look at the display, you miss it, and embarrass yourself like the guy above.


Anonymous said...

Ah, the good old days. The best that I recall occurred on a lazy Sunday afternoon and was an obviously well rehearsed in-flight monologue from "Captain speaking" describing the progress of the flight and the many visual delights that passengers could view from the enroute altitude.

The script probably lasted for about 2 minutes and was transmitted for all to hear - on 121.5

Congratulations poured in over the frequency for a job well done! We even offered to sell him a copy of the tape but strangely, he never replied...

Anonymous said...

Great funny story. I dad a Captain once who did the same thing. I still laugh about that one.

GC said...


There are those that have, and there are those that will.

(Not that it isn't funny anyway.)

Greybeard said...

Four transmitters/five receivers in my aircraft, so I've been known to turn the volume down on a radio, then wonder why I can't hear a response when I try to transmit on it!

(Red faced apologies when I realize my bad.)

Anonymous said...

A goodie from the local training field:

XYZ: I'm so booooooooored
ATC: A/c calling, Say your callsign
XYZ: I said I was bored, not stupid!!!

Got lots of laughs, that one.