My airplane, the real airplane this time,
not a simulation, arrived at 9:45 a.m. and was
wheels up on the next flight at 10:45 exactly. It's not orange, and neither is the mystery plane, but I'll get there.
A coworker flew my plane in from the southern shop
that did the engine change. We met him at the
airplane, helped unload his gear and he briefed
me on its various idiosyncrasies. There were no
specific engine break-in instructions for me, as the
first few hours had been done in test flights
and ground runs. My walk around revealed a tire
near the end of its tread life, three matching
burrs on the three blades of the left propeller
and a dirty windscreen. The arriving pilot
assured me that a replacement tire was on its
way and that the propeller had been clean when
he left. We agreed not to park on that gravelly
section of the ramp. Also the copilot DG was
missing from the panel. It had not been working
properly, but don't worry, there's a spare one
in a box waiting to be installed. I cleaned the
windshield and started up.
It took me a couple of tries to start the
left engine, probably a combination of it being
already hot from the flight and from the
rigging being different, so the ideal throttle
position isn't as it was. But I fix my
technique for the right and engine, and they
both sound great.
I raise the gear when I'm out of runway and
climb up over the clearway. It's been trimmed
since last time I was here. It was getting
scraggly. I notice a black insect with yellow
stripes buzzing against the inside of the
windscreen. It's not a wasp or a bee. Maybe
it's something that doesn't even sting and just
has the stripes to scare predators into
thinking it will sting. I expect it to stop
flying and huddle in a corner of the dashboard,
the rapid pressure drop from the climb
activating its instinct to shelter from a
storm.
I call clear of the zone but remain on
frequency to monitor incoming traffic. It's
very quiet for a while. The first call I hear
is made by an older male voice with a slight
northern European accent, maybe Dutch or
German. The aircraft is a Cessna 172. Usually
an old guy in a C172 is a recreational pilot,
probably in his own plane. If you're flying a
C172 for work, it's probably early in your
career. But I must be wrong in this case,
because he says he's on a company flight plan.
He then contradicts that by asking for a touch
and go. Hmm, is he a student and the "company"
is the school? Is he out of currency and needs
one more landing before he can pick up his
passengers? I'm going to continue with the
older guy in his own airplane, but add that he
has his own company, too. Maybe he runs a lodge
or something. Later he tells the FSS that he's
taxiing to the terminal for his passengers. And
then they're off, tooling around the north in a
single engine airplane. Ça c'est fini.
Just as he is leaving, the airspace gets
busy. The FSS is juggling position reports for
an inbound Bonanza, a couple of helicopters and
me. Everyone reports in and then ATC tells
everyone individually where everyone else is
with relation to each other. It's not fully
necessary, because we aren't even inside the
five mile zone and we are listening to each
other, but I guess it's their job. And it's an
impressive job of spacial visualization
considering that they don't have any radar. A
pilot calls up in a "Pitts 300S" and
the controller asks him what that is. At first
I think "How can he not know that? It's a
famous aerobatic aircraft!" and then I realize
that he didn't say
Pitts Special or Extra
300S but Pitts 300S. He tells the
controller it's a homebuilt. Ha ha, clever
name. Perhaps I'll build a homemade "Comcorde"
or "FR-71". Pitts 300S guy gives his ETA as
"Four minutes forty-five seconds." Someone has
an airplane with ambitions of grandeur
and a brand new GPS.
The stripey insect hasn't read the manual on
the dangers posed by a rapid drop in air
pressure and is still buzzing around. The black
and yellow one gives up on the windscreen and
flies into the back where the mission
specialist complains about it. I admit, "Yeah,
there's a mosquito in here too." He asks me to
please keep my pets in the cockpit.
I've got critters everywhere. I mash
something especially juicy on the outside of
the window, then happen to fly through a little
rainstorm and get rid of it. That was
convenient. That giant smear would have bugged
me for hours.
There's a Dash 8 arriving now. (It's
probably that same "secured" one I saw in
Dawson Creek). I'm crossing their runway
approach path and position report so they know
it. They have me on TCAS and then they cancel
IFR and go by behind me, straight in for
landing.
An A-Star calls up "5.4 miles" out and ATC
relays his position to another pilot, who makes
passive aggressive remarks about how it "would
be nice" if the other traffic gave more than
0.4 miles warning of his approach to the
airspace. The controller pretends not to notice
his attitude.
The controller calls us again, saying that
possible traffic is a Rawlins coming from Peace
River. Now I don't know what something is. I
ask her to say again type. She clarifies. "It's
a homebuilt. It's orange." They are expected to
be receive only, unable to make radio
transmissions and are expected soon. The Dash-8
calls taxiing and the FSS fills him in on the
homebuilt. "Expected now, actually."
The Dash-8 calls for its IFR clearance,
while sitting in position on the runway. That
would be ridiculous at a busy airport in the
south, but it's pretty common here for an
airliner to sit on the runway waiting to copy
their instructions for the whle flight. I let
the FSS know that I'm about to pass through the
extended centreline of the runway, ten miles
back, but they get their clearance and take off
anyway. Once again they "have me on TCAS" but
I've lost them all together. Then I spot them
zooming away to the southeast, lower than I
expected. Rather than waiting five seconds they
just stayed lower than normal and zoomed
underneath me.
The missing orange homebuilt still isn't
here. The FSS passes it as 'possible traffic'
to everyone. It was due sixteen minutes ago. I
hope this isn't going to turn into a search. At
least orange is easy to spot. Finally he calls,
"39 miles out, be there in thirty minutes." I
guess he does have a radio after all, but it's
terrible. The FSS can barely understand him.
Eventually he arrives, landing on the long
runway in the least convenient direction,
requiring a long backtrack. But I guess if you
fly at sixty knots you land slowly enough that
tolerating a five knot tailwind is not a good
idea. He frustrates someone by taxiing slowly
back down the long runway.
After all this excitement, I'm setting up to
land. While orbiting overhead the aerodrome I
hear a call "...Tutor jets, flight of two,
planning overhead the VOR for the 03 ILS
approach." Ha ha! I know what colour
they are. There's only one operator that flies Tutor
jets. It's our national military aerobatic
team. Where there are two there are likely to
be all eleven.
I call final and "Snowbird eleven" asks the
controller if I am a full stop or a touch and
go to remain in the circuit. The controller
says full stop and I append, "after six and a
half hours, I just want to get it on the
ground." The Snowbird pilot says he wishes
he had that kind of fuel range. It
doesn't matter what you're flying: you're
always jealous of someone. I'm in the flare
now, so I don't banter, but the controller
answers for me. "You're not likely to get much
sympathy here, considering what you're
flying."
I call clear of the landing surface,
"taxiing to parking to watch the airshow."
I was just making a smart remark but there
is an airshow. Snowbird 10 and 11 do a
low level formation pass and then break and
come around to land, followed by three groups
of three Snowbirds, doing the same thing, fast
and loud and low. "That was awesome" says the
controller. "I wish there were more people than
just me and that pilot around to see it."
I have parked, not very elegantly, in my
usual spot opposite the fuel shack. The engines
are still running for the equipment in the
back. The jets taxi in and park, one by one in
a perfectly straight line next to me. It makes
me laugh so hard to be part of this lineup. Of
all the days to park crooked.
They climb out of the cockpits, wanting the
same thing I want after a mission: the
washroom. We direct them, then they come back
and we exchange airplane stats. They've just
come from Anchorage via Whitehorse and some
place in between that they can't remember the
name of, in the middle of the Alaskan
mountains. They only fly one-hour legs. They
can't fly Anchorage to Whitehorse in one leg
the way I can. Mind you, they can still do it
faster, even with the fuel stop. One of the
pilots shows me how to extend the access steps from the outside of his airplane, and
invites me to climb up on them and look in his cockpit.
Hmm, a single hour in there is probably worth six and
a half in mine. And they've had two people in
each airplane the whole way, with overnight
bags stuffed in the canopy behind the
headrests. I'm not sure they can even stretch.
And the equipment, wow. As you folks have probably
figured out already, this is the mystery panel.
Here's a diagram of what they
are. These instruments have been serving the
Canadian military long enough to retire with a
full pension. One of the aviation technicians
is there and I ask him how many of these
airplanes there are. He says "eleven," but I
explain no, not the team, I mean all together.
I forget the number, but it was small. They
don't have a large pool of parts planes. They
have to keep these birds flying with what they
have. This is an elite team making commitments
all over North America every year and they are
flying metal older than mine with not a lot of
upgraded components. I'm not quite sure how I
asked it, some combination of words and facial
expression, to convey, "How do you keep them in
the air?" without denigrating a national
icon. The technician understands and answers
with a wry smile, "It's a labour of love."
The publicist brings me a poster, but I opt
not to go after the team for autographs. Their
job involves a lot of PR, but they're on a
break now. I would have liked to chat to one of
the women, though just because we'd have a
little more in common. There are so many
different aircraft and missions out there but
there's enough in common: chatting on the same
frequencies, landing at little en route
airports we forget the name of and having stray
Cheerios rolling around under seats. I giggle
at the idea of Cheerios loose in the cockpit of
a Tutor jet, but that's what was in the snack
bag. The comments are now open to any aircraft
maintainers who would like to whine about
stupid pilots and their snacks. I know they get
everywhere, and I'm sorry, but we all eat Cheerios like we were toddlers.
My favourite snack guess is perogies, just because I like the logistical challenge of actually having them. They would have to be warm, because who wants cold perogies, but they couldn't be too hot, because you have to be able to pop them in your mouth without burning yourself. I guess you cook them, cool them a bit in a colander, then take them on board in a squat thermos, or tupperware wrapped in tinfoil and towels. Kind of awkward, but I have heard stories of a pilot who would bring onboard an entire roast chicken and ingredients to mix for a full Caesar salad.
The jet jockeys let me cut in line to get some fuel before they finish, because they aren't all leaving right away. I hear them leaving later and look out my hotel window as they take off in flights of three, beat up the town, and then zoom off all in formation. They'll be doing airshows in Daytona on the 9th-10th, Atlanta on the 16th-17th and then back in Moose Jaw for their 40th anniversary celebration on the 22nd-23rd.