Next morning the weather in the Toronto area and across the lakes is already
fine. No fog. I call Canadian customs with my arrival report. It always
irritates me that it's called an arrival "report" when it's really a forecast. I
can't report my arrival until I've actually arrived. But they call it a
report, so I have to. You have to call everything by exactly the right words
with customs people, or you get into trouble. I also file an ICAO flight plan
for the border crossing, another legal requirement. The briefer asks me if I
want customs advisory service, which is odd, because it doesn't exist anymore. But as you can
see from that document, the procedures between the two countries are complex
enough and disparate enough that I won't hold it against this Wisconsin
briefer.
The airplane is fuelled and in proper shape. I make sure I have my passport
and airplane documents easily accessible from my seat in the cockpit, advise my
flight follower (unlike South Dakota, Wisconsin has text messaging), and
depart.
Wisconsin ends at the shore of Lake Michigan, but my journey continues. I fly
across Green Bay. The bay alone is as big as many respectable lakes, but it's
just a sliver on the chart. Michigan is a gigantic north-south lake, wide enough
east-west that I can't see the other side. I just see lake. It's very cool.
Flying over Wyoming is boring, but this seemingly endless expanse of water is
hypnotically fascinating. The mist over the lake becomes a mirage of shore and
eventually resolves into actual land.
On the other side of Lake Michigan is the state of Michigan. It looks cold.
I'm starting to hear other Canadian aircraft idents on frequency, and the air
traffic controller handles the alphabet soup of our call signs as fluently as
the alphanumeric of the American planes. I'm almost home. One more lake to
cross, and that's Lake Huron. It is even bigger than Lake Michigan, and I'm
cutting right across it, too. I know you're wondering why I am posting these
pictures of nothing but blue, but I love them. Someday perhaps I'll get to fly
across an ocean and I'll be tired of this, maybe I'll long for Wyoming, but
right now I'm loving it. The international border runs down the middle of the
lake, but air traffic control boundaries are not exactly on the border. I'm
handed off to a Canadian controller and have to consciously suppress saying
"Charlie" at the beginning of the call sign. It's comforting to hear the
controller's accent. It sounds like Canada.
I reach shore just north of Goderich, which reminds me of Sulako. It's where
he met the love of his life, according to the story
he is telling. (And I've met her, so he can't be making it all up). The
land beneath me is flat and rural, but I know I am approaching a major
metropolitan area and a lot of busy airspace. I tidy up the cockpit a little and
switch from the 1:1,000,000 scale WAC chart I've been using to the 1:500,000
scale VNC, and fold the 1:250,000 scale terminal area chart so I can see it
clearly. I have to get the American expectations out of my head and fly like I'm
in Canada. Canadian flight following isn't as seamless as the US style, and I
may need to get my own clearance, and make more decisions on my way in here than
I've grown accustomed to. I make sure I have enough paper to write down any long
clearances and keep a sharp eye out for other traffic. I do approach math in my
head and decide where to start my descent. I'm landing at Buttonville, a crazy
little GA airport, not Pearson International. The client's supplier happens to
be near Buttonville, and they've arranged parking for me here. I know most of
the traffic will be little singles, so I plan to enter the circuit--I've been
the States so long that I almost typed "pattern" there--at my approach speed of
120 knots, still above the cruise speed of training aircraft, but easier for me
to manoeuvre, easier ATC to fit me in, and safer because it gives me more
opportunity to see and avoid any errant students.
I tell ATC I'm beginning my descent and they assign me a heading, "not below
3000', and pass me off to Buttonville tower. They ask me to report three miles
back, at the greenhouses. The ATIS says they're using runway 15 and 21, and I'm
pretty well set up for right base for 15, but when I call, a little late because
I had to wait for another exchange to finish, they clear me to a right downwind
on 21. As I manoeuvre for that, the controller calls back and asks uncertainly if
I need "a lot of room" to land? He says runway 15 is available. He is probably
realizing that it would have made sense to put me there to begin with, but I'd
have to circle around to land on it now. I'm light and have lots of flaps so I
tell him 21 is fine, I'll just need to teardrop out to align with it. I
touchdown on 21 and get taxi clearance to customs. The taxiways are narrower
than at the US airports I've been working at. I hold short of 15 for someone
else who did get to use it, then follow instructions to customs parking. It's a
busy apron. There's a restaurant patio on part of it and lots of people and
airplanes. Someone marshalls me to park and after I shut down I tell him I need
customs. He hands me a cellphone, predialled and ringing with the CANPASS
number. When they answer, I give my name and aircraft ident and they ask if
there is an officer there. "I don't know."
"Do you see them?"
"I see a lot of people in uniform. No one has approached the aircraft." I'm
sorry, dude, I don't recognize the customs officer uniform twenty metres away
through a double door.
There is no customs officer here, which is normal for crossing into Canada.
You can clear customs over the phone with no physical inspection. In this case
they aren't happy with my customs paperwork, for some reason. I give the ramp
guy back his phone and switch over to my own, which has all the numbers I need
programmed into it. I have to call the custom broker's office, convince their
answering service to make an emergency call-out, convince the guy who takes that
call to call the guy who is actually responsible, and then go through several
iterations of being referred to customs officers' supervisors. I end up inside
the terminal, sitting next to an electrical outlet to charge my cellphone. It's
controlled chaos in there.
A child is having a tantrum in the gift shop. Your traditional incoherent
screaming while clutching the toy he wants in one hand and hitting out with the
other hand. One parent favours the tactic of abandoning everything, including
the original mission, and leaving the building. The other parent is trying to
negotiate with the child.
On the other side of me, know-it-all flight instructors are telling their
students lies in the tones of superiority that can only be gained by having
logged four hundred hours in the same airplanes in the same airspace and never
having been far enough away to encounter any challenge to their worldviews.
I bite my tongue and refrain from offering my opinions to the parents,
students or flight instructors. It's challenging, but I add it to the game of
seek-the-weekend-customs-authorization and make it all an exercise in accepting
the world.
Ramp workers want to tow my airplane. I have to keep telling them that I am
still waiting for a customs clearance, so my airplane may not be towed. One of
the officers says I have to go to Pearson to clear a commercial airplane on a
weekend. I specifically asked a professional customs broker if there were any
hours restrictions for my arrival here, and he said no. More back and forth with
my getting people in Calgary to call these guys, and them calling each other.
After an hour or so I get bumped to a customs employee with enough authority to
make a decision, and his decision is that everything is in order, I'm free to
go. I ask him what I should do or say next time to make this easier. Did I use
the wrong words? Was the paperwork not clear? He says no, it's just that some
people didn't understand the nature of my operation. He reads me my customs
authorization number and I copy it into the journey logbook as proof of this
conversation.
I restart and call for taxi. Buttonville is a typical training airport. There
are Cessna and Piper singles lined up, maybe seven or eight in a row to take
off. The runway starts right near the customs area. I have to wait for a lull in
this flow of trainers before I can taxi across to my parking.
Chocked and secure at the prearranged parking, I finish all my paperwork,
unload my bags, lock up, and call my boss. He tells me to go home. So I do.