Today I give you a collection of things pilots and controllers have said that made me smile enough to scrawl them on my OFP.
Controller: Aircraft calling, standby. Aircraft .. everybody just standby.
Pilot: Centre, Aircraft Z, Any chance of direct the beacon?
ATC: No. [no call sign, just 'no']
Pilot: Centre, Aircraft Y, 60 nm W of fix, 16,000.
Centre: That's lovely. You should tell Approach on <freq>.
Pilot: <Gives aircraft position report parked at an FBO>
Controller: This is the departure frequency. We'll talk to you later.
A controller makes several calls without a reply, to an American Mustang that has been having fun shooting approaches into fogbound airports. Good practice. I've heard that guy up here before. The pilot finally comes back says he had a radio problem. A few minutes later the same controller loses contact with another US airplane. "No one is listening to me today," he laments on frequency.
Controller. "Where is that? My map is crappy."
Windy, gusty day I manage to get my tail dragger safely on the ground:
Controller: Nice job, where do you need to taxi?
12 hours later, the next morning I'm departing on a beautiful morning. I take off in 300 feet and am eye level with the tower by midfield.
Same controller as the previous day: Well! That certainly looked easier than yesterday.
Good ones! Made me laugh.
A couple years ago while in NY Center's airspace I overheard this exchange between a very busy controller and a very calm sounding female airline pilot:
Controller, in the rapid staccato that is normal in busy airspace: "(airline name)123 please expedite your climb through flight level 270."
Pilot: "Roger, we'll give you our best rate through flight level 270,(airline name)123."
Controller, approximately 60 seconds later and after several rapid fire instructions to other aircraft: "(airline name)123 please expedite your climb through flight level 270."
Pilot: "Uh, roger, we're doing our best rate now and will continue to do so through flight level 270."
Controller, again after a few exchanges issues exactly the same instruction to the same aircraft.
Pilot, in a perfect Scottish accent: "We're giving 'er all she's got Captain!"
That too made me laugh, for about a week :-)
On a busy day at YAV, and controller working both ground and tower. Tower gives GABC landing clearances twice, while other people are trying to contact tower. No response.
So then tower goes with a bit of anger in his voice, GABC "I can't see you nod, I'm gonna need a readback on the clearance"
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