When I blogged about FAA plans to close access to their birdstrike database I mentioned that some of the birdstrike material strikes my funnybone. This comprehensive document made me laugh a few times:
I'm imagining the act of bad judgment that had them recommend good judgment in this passage.
Dead birds will sometimes scare away flocks of the same species. Placing fresh carcasses in open areas also offers limited effectiveness; however, scavengers will also be attracted to dead animals. Some wildlife officers report success in dispersing flocks simply by tossing a recently dispatched gull into the air while playing distress calls. Such acts should be carried out only with good judgment, and with consideration for any onlookers who might take offense. Placing taxidermically-mounted gulls—prepared in what are termed agony postures—in open areas has also led to some success, although such models are unable to withstand harsh weather conditions.
Apparently birds are smarter than the average character in a teen horror movie, who goes out in her underwear to investigate in the same circumstances.
Border Collies are environmentally friendly.
Low-emissions, non-carcinogenic, locally produced, runs on biofuel, and can fetch sticks. What else could you ask for?
And this pilot guide to bird avoidance contained this statistic:
60% of mammal strikes occurred when the aircraft was on approach or landing
34% of mammal strikes occurred during takeoff
My initial response was "And six percent of mammal strikes were with bats or skydivers?" but I suppose the remainder could be airplanes hitting animals while taxiing, or even animals running into parked aircraft. Hey, if a bull moose considers a Ford Focus to be a challenge to his moosculinity, why not a Piper Malibu?
There's also the risk of falling cows, like this urban legend and the YouTube clip below.
My ambition is to hit a flying snake in Canada, just because the form only allows for "bird" and "mammal" events, and I'd have to write in "reptile". That and the potential for "Snakes on a Plane" jokes for everyone.