Friday, July 29, 2011

Hey, Swimsuits!

I wasn't going to post anything today, so if women in swimsuits and inappropriate-for-the-beach shoes is not your thing, wait until tomorrow and you're not missing anything. If you like to look at pictures of scantily-clad women, then click over here and check out the parade of women with absolutely no bruises or scars. Can you imagine if your job depended on being that flawless? I worry about being in the field scheduled to work and getting diarrhea or coming down with a fever. With a little plastic surgery my belly button could look that perfect. (Ladies, when choosing an obstetrician, ask them to demonstrate their knot-tying skills. I mean honestly how does page three there get that neat perfect dimple in the middle of her belly, when my mother's obstetrician was evidently practising his sheepshank?) But forget belly button envy, I am never going to spend a day with no bruises or scratches anywhere on my body as revealed by a swimsuit.

They're pretty to look at though. I've got a suit kind of like page seven, plus the sense not to wear orange eyeshadow, so I'm way ahead. I'm also glad my job doesn't involve being photographed at the angle shown in number twelve. If you're tall and naturally skinny, go ahead and be a fashion model for a few years. You can use the money to pay for flight school which will allow you to wear more comfortable shoes for your job. You'll still get groped at work, but at least you won't be wearing a bathing suit that's too small and mess of faux pearls.

No actual nudity or toplessness there, but if your workplace is worried about that sort of thing, they might not like swimsuit models either.


Sue said...

Don't know about "flawless" in real life, but it's possible that the images have been re-touched (there's been some recent controversy about advertisements showing models with flawless skin). Thanks for the link.

Sarah said...

Flawless.. I certainly never looked like them. I've always collected bruises on my legs especially, with no idea where they came from. I guess I'm just delicate.

In response to these Canadian beauties, enjoy these Bay Area bathing suits. I am truly sorry about Dec. 10 1974. It is just part of the his tory.

DataPilot said...

I don't worry about bruises and scars anymore when I wear a swimsuit. Heck, I'm not even particularly self-conscious about displaying all my sagging cellulite. Why not?

An old friend taught me a trick that can boost a woman's confidence while wearing a swimsuit. All you have to do is take off your contact lenses or glasses. That's it. If you can't see other people's flaws, they must not be able to see yours, right?

I know it sounds silly, but it really does work -- unless you happen to be one of those women that were born with naturally good eyesight (or have had a LASIK job). This is about the only situation I can think of where crummy eyesight is an advantage.

coreydotcom said...

One of my colleagues used to be a small time model. While she is an extremely nice person and she does have a beautiful face, when I saw her at a company event in a swim suit, it was kind of repulsing. Too skinny. I'm not a huge fan of girls weighing less than 100 lbs, unless they're really really small lol.

Also while guys may oogle at girls like the ones in the MB fashion show (for the record, i agree, they are hot), it's what is on the inside that counts for a LT relationship. Sure, numbers 1-18 may be fun for a night (or half a year), but for a lifetime... maybe... I don't know them.

Bonne nuit!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, not sure how practical some of them were for actual swimming, and did you read the drivel comments with most of the pictures? #3 definitely the best, for swimming :)

Scott Johnson said...

What the hell are those orange things on their foreheads (#11)? Are they radio-controlled?

Chris Thompson said...

I thought the head dress on #4 was a little over the top. It just accentuates the feeling that she might have been darted between the eyes right before the photo was taken.

I'm not distracted by the orange eyes on 7 as much by her wrist water-wings. Of course, let's be clear, with those shoes, this swim suit is clearly not meant for swimming...and that's just fine. :-)

Nice to see that #9 has got her tissue tucked in her sleeve--just like my grandmother used to.

Do I see stretch marks on #12's thigh? How sis that get by the editor!!!

I must say my favorites is 14. Bridezilla. Yup. That's a statement.

Let's face it, all of these fine ladies are nice to look at.

Anonymous said...

Orange eyeshadow? The model was wearing eyeshadow? This is like one of those instances where the man says "What car?" when asked about the color of the car the naked woman is posing in front of.

Maybe this is just me being bizarre, but I found most of those swimsuits just a bit weird. I don't know what it is, but the simple, form-fitting lines of a typical racer suit a competitive swimmer would wear, or a sports-type bikini, are much more attractive to me (probably because the typical wearer is lean and strong, not a fashion-model twig). Sometimes more is less!

john said...

Do we get to vote? Mine is for #15, the only one (besides 14) who doesn't appear anorexically (is that a word?) oriented. Also she may be the only one with a full set of molars.