Thursday, May 22, 2008

How Not to Nightstop

This pretty much stands on its own.

An airline pilot was found hiding behind a shed wearing only flip-flops and a wristwatch as a nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant ended with both under arrest, police said. Jeffrey Paul Bradford, 24, and Adrianna Grace Connor, 24, both employees of Pinnacle Airlines Inc., were at a diner on the outskirts of Harrisburg on Sunday night before they apparently decided to walk into the woods, police said. "They told the officer they wanted to go do it in the woods, essentially," said Lower Swatara Township police Sgt. Richard Brandt. "That's the best answer they had." The two somehow became separated, and people who live in the neighborhood summoned police around 9:30 p.m., saying they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman. A helicopter with heat-seeking equipment was called in, and Bradford was discovered hiding behind a shed shortly before midnight. Bradford, of Pittsburgh, was charged with indecent exposure, public drunkenness and other offenses. Connor, of Belleville, Mich., was charged with theft from a motor vehicle, public drunkenness and other offenses; police said she took a flashlight from a neighbor's vehicle. A spokesman for the Memphis, Tenn., airline said the two were suspended while the company investigates. The office of District Justice Michael John Smith, where Bradford and Connor were arraigned, said they were not represented by lawyers. Telephone listings for them could not be located by The Associated Press.

The testosterone-to-common-sense ratio of Pinnacle pilots remains high, I see. A pilot from another airline tells me that it sounds like a typical night in Harrisburg, but that he'll never live it down that he (a) left his wristwatch on, and (b) needed a heat-seeking helicopter to find his date.

6 comments:

Scott Johnson said...

Harrisburg is awfully close to Three Mile Island ... in fact, the island is actually less than a mile from the final approach course to runway 31. People have been trying to pinpoint biological effects from the accident for years. Maybe these two are just a late hit. :)

nec Timide said...

I have a friend who says "flying without a watch is like flying without your pants, you can do it but it feels strange." Perhaps he was testing a corollary. It does sound like this guy needs some remedial navigation instruction.

fche said...

Now now, equal opportunity dictates some sneers at the overhormoned stewardess, surely.

Anonymous said...

Let's be fair! At least they took thier uniforms off so as not to embarass company!

And besides... I don't see how they can charge him with indecent exposure? He WAS hiding behind a shed after all. Probably only came out with his hands up after they told him to!

John said...

I guess that helicopter search was worth it? You have to be very drunk to think sex in the woods would be any good, lol.

Anoynmous said...

You have to be very drunk to think sex in the woods would be any good...

...or fully engulfed in the process of falling deeply in love. Come to think of it, I suppose that could be considered a variety of being drunk.