Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bucket of Propwash

A new dispatcher at work was trying to handle an inquiry that grew increasingly complex. She finally said, "I'm new here, I'm going to let [another dispatcher on duty] handle this."

The enquirer accepted the deferral and asked, "While I'm waiting, could you get me a bucket of propwash?"

I'm proud of her for the way she rolled an eye at him and said levelly, "I'm not that new."

A 'bucket of propwash' is one of those joke requests used to get laughs at the expense of the uninitiated, like a left handed monkey wrench, or a hundred feet of shoreline. I never sent anyone on one of those fool's errands. Newcomers usually come up with enough crazy mistakes of their own, without my help.

9 comments:

Lord Hutton said...

It's like when someone gets to a meeting late and it is explained that everyone has already introduced themselves and as a bonding exercise they have each told the group "the most embarassing thing they have ever done" or whatever and now it is their turn

Anoynmous said...

I heard a new one this week: someone asked a newcomer to the shop to find a metric adjustable wrench. My father is fond of telling how oldtimers at a camp bunkhouse would send tenderfeet for red kerosene to refill the [red-globed] lamps that hung outside the latrine.

dave said...

One of my all time favorites that we used to pull on new flight attendants back in the old days was "Talking to Astronauts." The co-pilot or Captain would have their oxygen mask on and talk into the mask microphone answering questions the other pilot was supposedly sending into space via the radio. Of course, the intercom switch was on and the speaker, also, on. The flight attendant could not see the oxygen masked pilot speaking. We would answer the inevitable question about why the pilot was wearing the oxygen mask with, "He has a headache." This worked very well when there was an actual spacecraft in orbit, as in lots of media coverage. We would call the new flight attendant to the cockpit and say that the spacecraft would be overhead in a minute or so and ask if they would like to talk to the astronauts. It worked almost every time. The flight attendants would excitedly go back to the cabin proudly telling their co-workers that they had been talking to astronauts. The reply; "Honey, you've been had!"

GC said...

HAH!! This brings back a lot of memories!

Aviatrix said...

I've heard a story like that of an airplane that had a large avionics bay accessible through a floor panel in the cockpit. The new flight attendant is told that one of her duties is to ensure all crew members are on board before securing the boarding door. Then, in cruise, she is called to the cockpit and asked where the flight engineer is. (He's hinding under the floor in the avionics bay). One version of the story has the flight engineer exit through the avionics bay, after shutdown at the destination. The victim flight attendant is arranged to find him, dishevelled, out of breath, and clinging to the nose gear.

Nicolas said...

yeah im guessing that story took place in either the 727 or older 747 model becuase thous are the only planes (that I know of) that has such an exstened avoinics bay. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Anonymous said...

Hehe another reason is also because the 727s and older 747s were among the last aircraft to have flight engineers :)

Cailean said...

In my Air Cadet glider flying days, we used to send newbie cadets (who were all a-flutter with the prospect of actually going flying) across the field to plug in the wind-sock, or into the hanger to grab the glider fuel.

Anonymous said...

How about a finnigan pit for the retarding arm.