Friday, November 18, 2005

The Camping Chicks

This story takes place at a logging camp, somewhere in Canada. Logging camps are almost exclusively populated by burly men, and they tend to be in remote locations, because close to civilization, all the trees have already been cut down, or landscaped. This logging camp has a rugged road running to it, but it is also serviced by helicopter. The helicopters are also flown by men.

The logging camp is near a lake, and four sporty, adventurous women have chosen to go camping at the lake. They are well-employed at a major airline, and one of them has a new SUV with four-wheel drive, heated seats and all the coffee cup holders you could ever want. They load up this expeditionary vehicle with camping gear and a full tank of gas, and drive up the logging road in search of the perfect campsite. One of the bridges is washed out, so they have to go the long way around, but eventually they find a spot. The weather is a little chilly, but they are fairly experienced campers and can keep warm without all the comforts of civilization. It's nice to have a few of the comforts of civilization, though, and it seems that one of the four hadn't brought enough batteries for her MP3 player, or perhaps she wanted to listen to it through the stereo speakers instead of the headset. She sat in the vehicle to do so. A little power for a radio shouldn't have been a problem for a new truck battery. It was more likely the electrically heated seats that did it. In the morning, the truck wouldn't start.

These are resourceful, highly trained women, accustomed to team work in a fast-paced (and I mean above Mach 0.8) environment. This shouldn't be anything they can't cope with. Civilization proper was many kilometres away, but they knew there to be a logging camp within 20 km. That's a couple of hours jog for a fit person, and two of them set off in that direction for help. I assume they took something with them to ward off wildlife.

Meanwhile, the two who had remained at the campsite spotted a helicopter and managed to attract the pilot's attention. It doesn't usually take much for a good looking female to attract a pilot's attention, let alone two. The campsite and rugged road did not constitute suitable landing areas for the large helicopter, but the aircraft hovered nearby while one of the stranded engaged in elaborate charades in an attempt to inform the helicopter pilot that four women were stranded with a broken truck. The message that he inferred from the dancing, waving and hair flipping was slightly different, but still resulted in his returning to the logging camp to send assistance.

By that time, the runners were almost at the camp, so the truck that was sent out on the rescue mission picked them up. They breathlessly smiled and thanked the men, who jumpstarted the truck and went back to the camp with the news of the day that two hot, scantily clad, chicks came running into the camp from the middle of nowhere. By the time the helicopter pilot returned again, the tale had spread to the farthest reaches of the bush: the four were reported to be airline pilots, flying heavies no less, and of course working as lingerie models in their spare time.

Any story is enhanced a little by throwing in a grateful lingerie model or four, but take that away and it's still unbelievable. What is the chance? Four hot chicks, in the middle of nowhere, ditzy enough to run the battery flat on a new truck, and they are airline pilots? They must have been having the guys on. Four flight attendants, more like it.

Time passed, and the helicopter pilot moved to a new job, where he was trained on type by another aviatrix. She happened to chat about her plans for her time off, involving four airline piot friends. The new co-pilot looked at her askance. "They wouldn't happen to own an SUV, and have gone camping at the lake by ..."

Wait until the guys at the logging camp find out that they really were airline pilots. I'm pretty sure they aren't lingerie models, but then I don't look at that many lingerie catalogues.

4 comments:

aasmodeus said...

:D Very funny, thanks for sharing!!!

Traytable said...

What a GREAT post!!! hahaha :D

:) said...

What are the chances that I spend the morning searching the internet for SSALR (approach lighting) and find this story?
In our lame defense, the 'roid warmer malfunctioned without our knowing, but we were later able to trouble shoot and snag it. (I think 'SUV for sale is still written in drift wood on that beach.') Oh, and yes, we had a couple of cans of bear scare in those schmancy coffee cup holders. PS It's quite difficult to perform charades in rotor wash without one's hair 'flipping.'

Aviatrix said...

It was a brilliant story, and I couldn't resist spreading it further. I love the way you leave me guessing which of the four you are.