What would the lazy blogger do without The Onion? Blandly making fun of everything by stating mundane truths about what people do and believe in the style of mainstream news stories, there's an Onion article for every occasion.
In this case it's a news brief on why airplanes fly, where everyday ignorance is placed in the mouths of imaginary scientists. The Easter egg in these articles, as I discovered when a group I belonged to made news and subsequently comedy fake news, is that Onion writers actually do research. The names and titles, in our case were partly ours, partly made up, making the result believable as a badly corrupted and misreported news story, even to us.
I can't find a Koplowitz, but there are a few Gabriels associated with aerodynamics at Stanford. I'm sure the article is on at least one of their doors.